22 April 2008
Happy Freaking Earth Day
Hooray! Let's celebrate our planet! Behold our loving mother! She's a cold, heartless bitch of a mother. Here are some statistics that show her love for us. Isn't she grand? She brings forth all manner of pestilence. Disease, drought, flood, hurricane, tornado, earthquake, wildfire, it's all in love. Pop quiz: Who has killed more people, every genocidal maniac in history combined, or Earth? Google that crap. When do we celebrate genocidal maniac day?
Now, in our planet's defense, not all disasters are its fault. Take the worldwide famine that has started and is getting worse. It's not because of drought. It's because of biofuel decreasing the supply of corn, which supplies almost every other type of food, such as beef, pork, and poultry. Now it's not the Earth that's killing millions, it's those who love the Earth more than their fellow man.
Now that I've written this blasphemy, I must now seek the Goracle to seek forgiveness.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
You write well when you're angry. I think you're right...we should declare war on Earth. And the rainforest is getting awfully haughty lately - it should probably be taken down a notch. For that matter, the ocean's been making me mad lately, too - what with all the sting-ray attacks as of late. Proof: Mankind thrives not when he "becomes one" with nature, but when he subdues it and rules over it, when he manipulates it and changes it. If I had a baby seal near by I would definately club it.
Post a Comment